Amerifunk

2005-01-27T11:43:00.000-08:00

CULTURE -SWEETS FOR THE SWEET:

Candy never tasted sweeter than when it's well-earned—except maybe when it belongs to someone else. Regardless of whether you earned it or just need to feed the monster in your head, there’s plenty of candy in this world and most of it is well within your reach. To help guide you through the sea of tasty pop culture delights awaiting us at every turn, I’ve composed a list of the top sweets to seek out and savor as if they were your own. Let your mouse do the talking and don’t forget to save room for dessert.

Best Ear Candy
Rufus Wainwright, uber-talented and uber-gay son of the great Loudon Wainwright III easily wins my votes for this award, producing the closest thing to perfection since the best work Leonard Cohen ever churned out. Rufus has a way of pulling you into the characters behind his sad and beautiful tales, bringing tears of joy and tears of heartache, often within the same verse. Songwriting hasn’t been this tasty in years. Rufus produced two of the most impressive musical explorations in history with his last two albums, Want One (2003) and Want Two (2004), a tour-de-force of masterful composition, arrangement and heart-felt lyrical majesty. The fruits of a single session with master producer Marius DeVries (Bjork fame), these albums are epic at the very least, offering unique and compelling diversions down classical, pop, folk, rock, and experimental roads. Get these albums and suck it in. Rufus is for real, baby.

Best Nose Candy
With little doubt, we boldly award this honor to Courtney Love, the embattled former Hole front-woman who manages to continually embarrass and degrade herself in delightfully public ways. What’s more, she keeps seeing the light after falling to the dark side. This time her change of heart has resulted in re-gaining custody of her 11-year-old daughter, Frances Bean Cobain, from her marriage with the late and great Kurt Cobain. The tragically mouthy Love lost custody to her daughter in 2003 after she overdosed on painkillers in front of the girl. The overdose occurred after Love allegedly broke into the home of her ex-boyfriend, music producer Jim Barber. Frances Bean was staying with Love's stepfather and sister, but Love had daily contact. Good luck Courtney, for your sake as well as your daughter’s, but hey, if you ever want to shake it on David Letterman’s desk again, we’ll be there for you.

Best Candy in a Film
Based on the novel Forbidden by Clive Barker, Candyman is a chilling tale of what happens when modern folklore bleeds (so to speak) into reality. Helen Lyle is a student who decides to write a thesis about local legends and myths. She visits a seedy part of Chicago where she learns about the legend of the Candyman, a one-armed man who appears when you say his name five times, in front of a mirror. Could the legend be true? Though highly underrated, this film featured talented writer/director Bernard Rose, who later went on to give us the disturbing Oprah vehicle Beloved. Additionally, Philip Glass scored the piece well before knowing exactly what his music would be used for, driven instead by the director’s focused emotional motivation. The fact is, this is a freaky film worthy of any horror movie collection.

Best Road Candy
I just spent a day testing the nuts and bolts holding together Ford’s new Mustang and I simply have no choice but to declare it the clear winner of this coveted prize. True, rental fleets will swoop in and ensure everyone gets a piece of this all-American pie, but that’s all the better. Americans deserve to experience a car that even in its base form is a pleasure to drive. From the throaty exhaust of the standard 210 HP V6, to the swift shifts of the optional four speed automatic transmission, this Mustang feels as robust and retro as its sleek 1960’s styling. This is a fine looking automobile with a kickin’ standard CD stereo and bucket seats that fit like a glove custom-made from the virgin sheep of a now forgotten plain. Ford, I have no idea if this car is built well, but it sticks to the road like glue, inspiring smile after smile. What's more, this new pony car delivers a solid helping of good old fashioned American pride.

Best Candy Candy
Bestowing a best candy award was a difficult and laborious task, resulting in some 15 extra pounds gained across three testers, and more than $345 in beautiful and delicious confections. At the end of the day, someone had to rise to the top, and it was a tough battle. Some may be shocked, but here you have the cold hard facts: you simply do not have to pay top dollar to get good candy. Momma Sees takes top honors for offering consistently tasty treats year round, with a wide variety of nuts, chews and delightful truffles –especially the fruit truffles. Plus, you simply cannot beat their peanut brittle. To crown the first and second lieutenants, we stuffed truffle after truffle into our gaping pie holes but simply could not crown a tier-two victor, instead issuing a tie between San Francisco’s Joseph Schmidt confections and Portland, Oregon’s Moonstruck chocolates. Both offer amazing truffles, but that’s their primary specialty, leaving momma Sees to take home the prize for best of show.

Best Eye Candy
As close as we didn’t want it to be, it ended up a dead heat between two diametrically-opposed sweets: the alluring and lip-smackalicious Elizabeth Hurley, and the subtle yet exotic charms of the luscious Milla Jovovich of Resident Evil fame. Milla is a perfect model of human form, making baddies disappear with the simple click of a trigger. Zombies don’t seem half as bad when Milla’s dismantling them with the precision that only a well-oiled Hollywood film can provide. What’s more, we had the pleasure of watching the dexterous and playful Jovavich showcase her keen physique in what amounted to being little more than a strip of gauze in Luc Bessing’s beautiful and gigglingly-good flick, the 5th Element. She’s the real deal boys. Sure, we still don’t know if she can act, but really, at this stage it simply hasn’t mattered.

(This is a recast of an article I produced for the February issue of Anvil magazine)

2004-06-07T22:45:00.000-07:00

TELEVISION -SHOWSTOPPERS:

I would love to know if anyone is being arrested, heckled or manhandled for producing the WB's latest reality series, WB's SUPERSTAR USA. I admit that I have not only watched the program, but laughed at its unsuspecting performers just as I hid my head in shame and embarrassment. One poor finalist (of the remaining three) seems so fragile that I'm afraid if he finds out the show is a fraud, he'll likely run for the nearest bridge. The other two contestants are mind-bogglingly terrible, but someone just has to "win." While this talentless show is entertaining, is it legal? Better yet, is it ethical? Hell no. Anyone with any amount of scruples would feel nothing but shame for society after finding out about this show. I'm not sure I can keep myself from watching the last episode, but I know that if I do, I'll be ridden with enough guilt to fill two confessions... And I'm not even Catholic. If you haven't seen it, you're better off. Hide your head and stay away from the television. If you have seen it, shame on you -and shame on me. I can only hope that no one gets hurt -too badly. What's next for unscrupulous reality TV? The Running Man?

2004-06-05T22:09:00.000-07:00

LIFE -MOVIN' ON UP:

After nearly clawing my own eyes out with anxiety, I made one of the biggest decisions of my life. A decision bigger than moving from the cold desolate plains of Idaho to lush Portland, Oregon. My wife and I have decided to move to the rolling streets of San Francisco, California. That's correct, we have decided to become one of the Governator's minions, helping to usher in a new era of Hollywood-baked political know-how.

Making a big move on the eve of welcoming your first and only child into the world is by no means an easy thing to do. Some may question our sanity -and I hope someone does- but sometimes the stinging bite of opportunity cannot be ignored. Once it clamps heartily onto your backside, it's difficult to deny that something needs to be done.

Facing a very challenging but potentially very rewarding career opportunity is a big step, but moving your family is a leap of grand proportions.

Regardless, the wheels of change are in motion. Life is so very, very short and oh so delicious, so it should be savored with every last fiber of your being. Take risks and live for today as well as tomorrow. There is so much air to breathe and so very much humanity to experience. The world is a rich place yet we so often ignore its wealth for fear of the unknown depths of the well.

Keep your options wide open and never look away when you feel the burn of opportunity's fangs tingling in your rear.

2004-06-02T09:59:00.000-07:00

POLITICS -NUDGE FROM GRACE:

If you have the opportunity and interest to read my latest published article, part of the Bus One Seven column I pen for Anvil magazine, do it. For Portlanders and non-Portlanders alike I hope this piece provides additional insight into just how poorly the Neil Goldschmidt sex abuse scandal has unfolded. While the Willamette Week did a phenomenal job uncovering the details of Goldschmidt's abuse, I have yet to find anyone discussing the manner in which Goldschmidt's public dissemination of information was mis-handled -by his own camp. As a public relations agent by day, I find his mis-management of information a truly beautiful case study in what not to do when facing a crisis communication situation. Dive in and read the piece; hopefully it will spin a new angle on other scandal and crisis situations that reach the public eye.

2004-06-01T09:33:00.000-07:00

MEDIA & MONEY -REALITY PAYS:

Reality television has reached such great heights that's it's difficult to believe that we ever had television without it. I don't watch a ton of television, but I admit that my recent exploits into tube consumption have increased, due in part to reality television.

While I never watched Survivor, Temptation Island, The Bachelor, For Love or Money, The Surreal Life, The Swan, or even The Real World, I was a bit attracted to the final episodes of Joe Millionaire (the first season) and then very attracted to The Apprentice. Additionally, just this past Friday I found myself glued to the tube for two hours watching back-to-back episodes of The Restaurant (the new season). On top of it all, I still manage to catch an episode of Monster House every now and again.

Regardless of the reason for my new addiction to reality TV, the light of reason came on while watching the last 15 minutes of my very first episode of Extreme Makeover Home Edition. In a mere second -and for no apparent reason- I gained a fresh appreciation for the business sense driving reality programs.

In examining Extreme Makeover Home Edition, it became abundantly clear that the costs for producing the show must be shockingly low -especially when compared to a traditional sit-com or drama. Sears sponsors the show heavily, "donating" all new appliances and A/V gear to the needy family's new home, while receiving premium brand placement. Additionally, I highly doubt that the celebrity contractors are garnering Friends-level salaries, and the rest of the cast is Joe-public working without the burden of costly sets or studios. The fact is, advertisers are paying a HUGE amount of money for media buys during the program, and the show itself is costing very little to produce. The same cost/value comparison can probably apply to most all Joe-public-based reality programs, from American Idol to American Chopper. Joe-public gets a small cut of the pie and the producers go home with fat wallets.

I'm in no way criticizing this phenomenon, however I don't believe the economic benefits of reality television have been well-documented in the media. While we hear about the ungodly salaries demanded by sit-com stars, we never hear of the costs associated with reality television, which appear to be quite miniscule. This makes perfect sense as to why producers are so quick to invest in bringing every possible reality concept to market. The risk is low and the rewards are potentially very high.

In my highly unscientific analysis of the situation, I'd say that reality television is the true motherload of gold mines. Every time we park it on the sofa to catch Rocco's latest childish quote and womanizing move, we're validating that real life is much more than just interesting subject matter -it's cheap, easy and very disposable.

2004-05-28T13:03:00.000-07:00

LIFE -ROOM WITH A VIEW:

Walking through the downtown campus of Portland State University today, I passed the young -often bewildered- faces of many different students. The jocks, jokers, pretty boys, catty girls, bus-chics, comp-sci kids, non-trads and stoners... all mingling together as if their differences never existed.

With the crowds washing past me in a steady stream of pre-finals anxiety, I couldn't help but wonder whether these kids had any idea of what the Hell awaits them when they're done with school.

To those who may be wondering, unfortunately, it's not always pretty out there. If you're lucky enough to get a job it will likely be your prime -possibly only- source of social interaction, including your dating pool. Additionally, you'll have to take tests every day -or as I like to call it, "work." But the fun doesn't end there. You'll start to miss the workload and constant term-to-term change, as well as the lack of forced interaction with your peers. You'll now be in an environment that speaks of teamwork and common goals, but it thriving by the forces of competitive jockeying and diplomatic internal positioning. On top of it all, the feds will want their money back.

Poking at my tofu bento, I smiled with the thought that I was once there as well, chomping at the bit to get out and into the world of paid vacations and the corporate ladder. I couldn't envision a place more confining then school. But the call of the real world is so programmed and so strong, that you just can't help but answer.

However for those who don't answer it, they live in joy for years, tucked safely into campus while taking credits at a snail's pace -anything to delay the pain of graduation. But alas, they too see their peers disappear, and then their charm begins to fade. The man who was once the cool senior becomes the fun older guy down the hall that buys beer for the freshmen; and then he becomes that weird non-trad that hits on all the co-eds. Eventually, he realizes that aside from his physical surroundings, he has little left to cling to as his experience far surpasses the interest and intellect of his ever-revolving neighbors. He is stranded and alone, clutching to the dream that he just might stay forever.

For those of us who got out and found the real world -for better or worse- don't forget about those souls who had an idealized view of their college experience and held on as long as they could. And if you meet them, recognize their idealized view wanting nothing more than to stay happy, away from the harm of life.

2004-05-26T22:33:00.000-07:00

POLITICS -AL'S BACK:

Al Gore made an appearance today, delivering a televised speech with more passion than I can ever remember him displaying while running for the presidency -or even as the vice president. He made some bold comments in asking for a large group of top U.S. officials to step down, but I have to agree that someone needs to don the horns of the scapegoat and head out of town.

Perhaps it's because he's not on the campaign trail, however I can't help but wonder if Al Gore has some other intention in continuing to bolster his public image. I'm not even entirely sure what he does with his time these days, but he's still got enough traction to attract national press.

I wish John Kerry would come out and start pointing fingers and making outrageous demands for resignations. Instead of complaining about gas prices and the "administration's" fuzzy plans for ending operations in Iraq, Kerry needs to offer a tangible alternative. Every outside candidate complains about the incumbent while making claims that they have a plan for addressing these issues. Unfortunately, we rarely see these plans prior to election day. Ross Parot gave away unending details of his plans for managing the country and we laughed at him. But I doubt his publicly announced plans were any more foolish than the privately developed plans of most politicians. Let's quit spewing rhetoric and start offering up solutions.

Someone needs to ask Al to drop a line to John and offer up some friendly advice: start pointing fingers, making reasonable demands and offering up real solutions. If you do, people might start to listen and this country might reclaim some self respect and global dignity.

2004-05-26T11:57:00.000-07:00

TELEVISION -AN IDEAL IDOL:

In a world ravaged by war, famine and the ongoing threat of terrorist attacks, I chose escapism last evening, plopping myself down to watch the American Idol finale. While I could wax on and on about who I believe should (or shouldn't) have been in the final, I have to admit that I was downright impressed by Fantasia Barrino's performance.

While Diana has a great voice -especially for a 16 year-old- she lacks the flexibility in range, tonal creativity and stage presence to compete at Fantasia's level. When Fantasia was singing I had the impression that she was in command of the theater -and that she truly belonged there. I've read that Diana garnered some impressive vote counts during the past month, but Fantasia's performance of Summertime was undeniably incredible. Additionally, she breathed life into the lungs of "I Believe," the official American Idol single -crafted by season-one contestant, Tamyra Gray. The song could very easily have been penned by Diane Warren, with it's deliberate emotional swells and wanna-be-funk choir arrangement, but it did a fine job of showcasing the singer's true vocal chops.

One issue I have with last night's judging was the commentary delivered to Fantasia regarding her first song, "All My Life." All three judges made comments regarding the sleepy arrangement, which I found perfectly suited to showcase a delicate vocal performance featuring Fantasia's wide dynamic range. If anything, I applaud the arrangement for its understatement -something K-Ci & JoJo's original recording of the tune truly lacks. Perhaps they were jonsing for an in-your-face vocal slam. Whatever the case, her performance packed a beautiful subtlety lacking in many of the performances featured this season.

Tonight we get the results of this contest, unleashing a marketing blitz that will fill our media with every new tie-in and promotional deal imaginable. After the glitz of the contest fades, we'll end up with an over-produced ten track nugget from a girl with far too little experience to say no to a trashy tune penned by a hack like Warren. But at this point I just don't care, the real entertainment is watching these young stars strive for success each week, facing down a talented pack of peers on their way to the top.

2004-05-25T10:23:00.000-07:00

LIFE -WELCOME HOME:

Holy living Hell, has it really been that long since I last posted on DPTB? Yes indeed it has. Apparently I just didn't have what it took to keep it up. My life took an interesting turn as I entered into launching a theatre company and there you have it... DPTB was left to flounder, floating out on the Web all on its own, without any input from anyone. How sad. I am a bad man who has come home to repent!!!

But alas, so comes to an end that last chapter in DPTB. We now enter the NEW chapter. The theatre is closing for the summer as I prepare for the coming of my first child (July 7), and I look into staging a very proactive new play based on Shakespeare's Coriolanus. So what's new in the world today?

Gas prices are sky high -and they damn-well should be. We've had it too good for too long, that's for sure. Ride the bus or a bike, or just walk if you don't like the prices. Whatever the case may be, you should just get moving and quit eating so much. Speaking of which, I just saw Super Size Me and LOVED it! What a great example of quality storytelling and cold, hard facts. All rolled into a Big Mac. If you eat McDonald's food or you're fat, you should see this movie. Heck, even if you don't eat at McDonald's or you're not fat, you should see this movie -it'll make you feel good about yourself.

That's it for now. DPTB is BACK.

2002-07-29T16:29:00.000-07:00

WORK -MAD MAD WORLD:

Just a quick update that the Bear has been very busy attempting to launch a new business venture in his hometown of Portland Oregon. Oh yes, the Bear is a busy beast, indeed. In the mean time, consider the implications of taking a job doing something that's probably much more interesting then what you're doing now, yet pays much less. Like about $10K less per year then what you're currently making. What the Hell do you do? Add to that the possibility that you might be jumping out on your own doing something entirely different from everything else. For the love of all - who said life is anything but a massively complex ball of madness on which we all hang for our lives, some of us enjoying the trip more then others? It's a crazy world out there, eh?

2002-07-17T10:44:00.000-07:00

POLITICS -IN BEAR WE TRUST:

For those of you who actually read DPTB, you know that I am by no means a regular blogger. Why? Simple. Just like you, I have a very busy life and blogging just doesn’t always become a priority. So be it. Just let it be known that when I finally do make an entry, it’s usually for a good reason, so don’t worry about having to sift through mindless babble looking for substance.

Today’s issue is as it has been for weeks. Michael Newdow and the Pledge of Allegiance. For those of you unfortunate enough to have sat through FOX’s first broadcast of The Pulse, you probably witnessed Bill O’Reilly’s pathetic assault on Newdow and his principles. This was very well one of the most ignorant arguments against Newdow I’ve yet to witness. O’Reilly used the dictionary and the Declaration of Independence to justify using the word God in the pledge, as if the pledge were drafted and enacted by the founding fathers or God himself.

Bill O’Reilly’s thinking is unfortunately shared by a large number of Americans who believe that the separation of church and state (public schools in particular) is conceptually attractive, yet a violation of their God-fearing principles once put into action. Bill’s thoughts are so skewed by what he believes history should do for this country that he can't see straight. If this country is so heavily dictated by history and Christianity, then why move forward at all? Why not go back to the Old Testament - you know, the one that was updated to make it more palatable for the masses? You know, the one that said your hands should be cut off for touching a pig's skin and women should be locked away during menstruation? Come on, that's from the mouth of God, right? If our country is founded on and dictated by God, let's get right back to where we belong. Or wait; did God change his mind and progress with the times? Did God commission the New Testament because the old one was outdated? What? God amended his own constitution? Holy crosses, Bill! Maybe you better rethink your ignorant argument!

Oreilly states that Newdown was “…violating my rights by trying to rewrite the history of my country.” What? Does O’Reilly think that history solely defines what should and should not be? Does he think that the pledge is part of our country’s founding history? Does he know that it was part of a marketing campaign for a flag manufacturer? A campaign that never included “Under God” until 1954 and was actually augmented on at least two other occasions to fit the changing times?

O’Reilly states, “There is no question that America was set up to allow its citizens to be free because the Framers of the Constitution believed that was why God created man – to exercise free will. It is simply unconscionable for activist judges and fanatical atheists to intrude on the history of the United States.” Last time I checked, the American constitution was set up to accommodate the changing perceptions and needs of the people of this country. For O’Reilly to suggest that Newdow and the 9th District are intruding on history is as ignorant as saying that the constitution should be followed as it was originally written, minus any amendments.

O’Reilly is missing the boat here. Newdow and his constituents are exercising the government the way it was intended, to ensure equal and fair treatment for all Americans, regardless of creed, faith, or any other factor.

Cheers

2002-07-10T13:53:00.000-07:00

FAMILY -KEEP IT IN THE FAMILY:

So the bear’s been on vacation. My blog has subsequently been inactive for a bit. I thought long and hard about bringing my laptop on our road trip, but I had absolutely no desire to be working, blogging, checking email or what the Hell ever else while cruising across the plains of Idaho. No, I don’t usually make a habit of cruising the plains of Idaho for the mere pleasure of it. Oh no. I do it for the love of my family. Not because they’re waiting for my arrival with baited breath, but because I have to keep the connection to ensure they know I care about them and that I’m well. Oh yeah, and to see some good friends and pick up a killer sunburn at Roaring Springs water park.

This is a very pure and idealistic approach to my yearly trek to the great Gem State, yet the reality of my visit often hits far from the target. It can be a maddening, disappointing journey of intense heat or cold, accompanied by endless telling of the same stories (some of which are damn funny). To frost this indecent cake of despair, my parents (living in different burrows) often ignore my wife almost entirely. While she holds up very well to this, I react with intense anxiety, as I’m looking to make sure everyone’s interaction is as pleasant as humanly possible.

My dad takes a day or so to warm up and then he addresses my wife with gusto and all is usually quite well. My mom on the other hand is a non-stop hurricane of poor communication – bless her heart. I love her dearly, but her world exists right in her town with her husband and it appears that she has little desire to look outside of that. Subsequently, it is almost impossible to have a conversation of substance with her. This saddens me, it really does. Not because I long for deep conversations with my mom, but because it seems as if we distance even further in our communication. I am growing only slightly comfortable with the thought that every interaction with her in the future could very well be shallow and slightly uncomfortable, but I’m learning to accept it as fact. At least she seems happy with her new life and that above all else is a very good thing.

As I stated before, my dad takes a short time to get warmed up but then the conversation rolls much better. My wife, my dad and I had a very engaging conversation about politics and religion at Idaho Falls’ only independent coffee shop (one of three shops in the entire city), and he actually took a great effort to speak with her just before we left his house. While my family almost never engages my wife in conversation, this was a rare moment of enjoyment, leaving all three of us feeling energized. There are occasional upsides to a trip back home. Unfortunately, this is the exception and not the rule.

One thing I’ve learned from this most recent trip is that I need to keep my expectations as low as possible, and be ready for the absolute worst and best. Chances are, I’ll get them both. My family is my family and I’ll always love them for the role that they’ve played in helping me to get where I am today. I just can’t look to them to fill that same role, now. I’m doing my best to reevaluate their role in my life, that is, how I perceive them. They are who they are and only I have the ability to change my comfort level with our interactions. They’re good people, just not necessarily people I’d hang out with were it not for the bloodline.

Poor communication is probably a part of every family and really, when it comes right down to it, that’s probably just fine. It’s been that way for ages, so maybe we should consider it to be one more form of diversification that makes life a bit more “lively”. Today I lift my glass to poor communication. Who knows, maybe my family will surprise us the next time around. Better yet, maybe I’ll surprise myself.

Cheers

2002-07-02T09:48:00.000-07:00

NEWS -THREE DOWN:

For those of you who may have been living in a cave, yesterday was punctuated by the announcement that 25-year-old Tarajee Maynor of Detroit, was arraigned Sunday on two counts of first-degree murder and felony child abuse. She faces life in prison without the possibility of parole if convicted of the negligent murder of her two children, Acacia D. Maynor, 10 months, and Adonnis D. Maynor, 3 years. Maynor’s kids died Friday after being left alone in her car for more than three hours.

Apparently the windows on Ms. Maynor’s car were rolled up with the children locked inside. According to the National Weather Service, the weather in Detroit was sunny on Friday afternoon, jumping up to the mid-80s. The temperature inside Maynor’s parked car was most likely a lot higher due to the natural greenhouse effect.

The really sick part of the whole mess is that aside from being completely irresponsible, Tarajee Maynor went one step further and panicked. After discovering her children had perished in the car, Maynor decided to drive around for almost three hours concocting a ridiculous story in an attempt to cover up her own heinous irresponsibility - time that might have been better spent attempting to revive her children. When she finally decided to get in contact with the authorities, Maynor first told police that she had been abducted, raped and then returned to her car. She later dropped her story once she realized the abduction story was going nowhere. She then confessed to stopping to have her hair done about 4:20 p.m. leaving her children in the car. When she returned more than three hours later, she found them dead.

What in the name of all that is twisted in this world was this woman thinking? I’m not even going to delve into the possibilities because they’re just plain ridiculous. The real question here is whether the punishment of living in prison with the thoughts of your own selfish disregard leading to the death of your children is enough. Does Maynor deserve to face death, just as her children did? While she most likely won’t face the death penalty, one can’t help but wonder if a mind capable of such disregard could ever punish itself enough? Better yet, what is enough punishment? While I have yet to take a position on the death penalty, it’s an instance such as this that make me question the deeper issues of punishment and the human psyche.

These are huge issues. Perhaps I’ll dive into them more in the future, but for now, noodle on them for a bit and feel free to send any thoughts my way. If they’re constructive, we’ll start a dialogue.

Cheers

2002-06-29T23:24:00.000-07:00

LIFE -ALIGNMENT:

It’s Saturday night and I’ve had one of the busiest days of my most recent existence. This will definitely be a short entry. I just have to share that today, everything fell into place and my wife and I could do little wrong. We had very specific goals today (everything from obtaining a really top-notch espresso, to finishing an article I’ve been working on) and for one reason or another, every single one of them was met – even those that had previously seemed insurmountable, like gaining access to a women’s maximum security prison. OK, maybe that last one was a stretch, but hey, the night is young.

Why is it that some days everything falls into place? It’s like someone is commanding you effortlessly via their Playstation controller and you’re just damn lucky that they know the game so well. I have no idea why that happens, but it’s definitely a rare thing, at best. Today was an anomaly and I don’t for a second want to take it for granted. Yes, there were a couple of occasions where I became cranky, when I had very little reason to, but the mere fact that the day was going so damn well gave me the flexibility to complain. Regardless, I don’t want to look back on today with a bit of negative criticism. If I have anything to bitch about, it’s that every day doesn’t end up like today. It just can’t. If it did, I might lose sight of what it’s like to have a near-perfect day. Funny, isn’t it? Alright, maybe it's not funny, but at the very least it's mildly amusing.

Today is coming to an end and tomorrow will present a whole new set of challenges. No, my issues with religion and the federal government haven’t been resolved, but I put them on hold for a day in an effort to focus on the real thing: my everyday life - the one granted to me by the constitution. Isn’t freedom grand?

Cheers

2002-06-28T23:26:00.000-07:00

LIFE -SPIN IT:

After exploring the inner recesses of my heart and mind, searching for a way to better express my recent outrage toward government and organized religion, I made a conscious decision to give it a brief rest. Yes, indeed, I am taking a short break from defending the constitution and attacking the pledge of allegiance and American currency. Mind you, I’m still just as sick about this country’s obsession with mixing church and state, but I’ve actually got a life outside of this week’s hot topics.

Today I spent nearly the entire day writing and recording music in the home studio and it was a very welcome change. Not only did I get to focus an entire day on mixing and mastering, I actually completed one of my songs. To keep you from soiling yourself, I won’t go into the details, but for those of you who have been living under the sofa your whole life, let it be known that it’s extremely satisfying to give birth to a new creation; albeit a new creation that’s been mastered down to 16 bits and burned onto a blank CDR.

Even greater then building something from scratch and launching it into the world – a world consisting of my wife and two dogs – is the unmatched joy of taking that very creation and picking it to pieces. I plopped the CD into our player and cranked the volume… in came that oh-so-familiar acoustic guitar, followed by a wicked intro into a slightly raging 120 beat-per-minute backbeat. But almost instantly, I found fault. “The levels are too tight here, the pan is off there. Oh Hell, I boosted the nylon guitar on the bottom end too much. Damn, why aren’t the strings louder on the top?” As the song came to its subtle end, my wife said – ever so innocently – “That was great, Bear!” The crazy thing is, she meant it. We listened to it again some five to six hours later and indeed, it was pretty good. But the mad scientist within was still unsatisfied.

I’ve managed to leave my song alone for the time being. My three minute and 44 second offspring is fine just as it is, but because I created and hold the power to edit the little beast as I see fit, chances are I’ll do just that. That’s the great thing about creation – the great thing about being an artist: people experience your work and react, while the best that you can do is act; act on the knowledge of its birth and imperfections. Knowing the smoke and mirrors behind the illusion, you cannot sleep until the proverbial canvas is as your mind’s eye pictured it.

If you experience life like this, do your very best to keep a hold of it. Always strive for more. Never say never, try anything twice. Keep striving to produce another reason for your audience to react. Get off your ass and create!

Cheers

2002-06-28T10:33:00.000-07:00

RELIGION/POLITICS -POKED TO THE BRINK:

Hi, this is the wife and my proverbial bear has been poked.

I'm feeling alienated in my own country these days. It all started with September 11th. While I take issue with many aspects of this country's response to the attack, (notably the ridiculous assertion that it was perpetrated out of JEALOUSY), the one that has recently resurfaced in my consciousness with the whole pledge of allegiance thing, is the apparent illusion that this is a Christian nation.

I was under the impression that among this great nation's core values is freedom from religious persecution. And I'm feeling religiously persecuted - big time. I don't believe in religion. As a matter of fact, I think it's one of the most outrageous affronts to humanity, intelligence, free will and personal responsibilty. I believe that religion very often cripples a person's (or society's) ability/willingness to construct their own belief structure based on their intelligence and experience. Religion gives people a non-logical and non-rational dogma to hide behind when they can't account for an event or a situation in their lives, or if they want to control other people's choices. Religion emphasizes the importance of the after-life, to the extreme detriment of our earth and communities in the here-and-now. Religion is what gave the 9/11 hijackers the courage to commit an unbelievable atrocity.

In spite of my fervent beliefs on this subject, I try to practice respect for people's religious beliefs and would never try to impose my beliefs on them, insult them by ignoring their existence, or ridicule them (well, at least to their face). All I ask is the same respect. I realize that the vast majority of people in this country believe in God in some fashion. However, there are a lot of us that don't. Religious belief should be private, not shoved down the throat of every school child and printed on the very currency that we all pass around. To the god-fearing majority, it may seem a small affront, but to those of us that fear ourselves (thank you very much), it's a daily affirmation of the fact that our beliefs do not count.

I believe in this country, and I believe in upholding the constitution. And the constitution has a provision for the separation of church and state. That is as it should be. If there is a legitimate argument for maintaining the status quo, I have yet to hear it. The only opposing viewpoints I have heard thus far to the court's ruling have been ultra-emotional, lazy, or just plain illogical. "That's just the way it's done." and "Changing our currency would be expensive." are no reasons to continue an unfair and unconstitutional practice.

Bravo, Mr. Newdow.

2002-06-27T23:31:00.000-07:00

RELIGION/POLITICS -11 O’CLOCK BLUES:

I just finished watching the local news – I have no idea why I watched it to begin with – and had an extremely important conversation with my wife. We are often of a single mind, and when we share a very passionate opinion on something it makes me feel like the luckiest man every to walk this crusted chunk of chaos. Tonight’s issue - and the issue of two separate DPB entries (see below) - was the 9th District Court’s ruling striking down the pledge of allegiance. But the subject of our conversation was much broader than the two offending words (“Under God” - which were added to the pledge in 1954).

I listened to President Bush tell me what the “American People” value (one nation under God), yet with little regard to who the American people truly are: a diverse collection of opinions and beliefs. The last time I checked my birth certificate, I was an American. Perhaps the Bush administration has been fiddling with my files because I’m beginning to question the validity of my passport. The fact is, I do not in any way, shape or form identify with Bush’s America. According to my state-sponsored education, the Constitution of the United States of America was the founding document protecting our rights and freedoms, as well as granting us the right to change the face of the country with the times. Specific to this issue, American citizens are granted freedom of religion (or should that be freedom from religion?). Unfortunately, that is easily interpreted by the Bush administration (and much of America) as “freedom of religion - as long as it doesn’t challenge our Christian ethics.” What if you’re not Christian?

The fact is, the Constitution of the United States of America grants us the right to make changes as we see fit, based upon the freedoms and rights laid out in that very same document. Keeping those two antiquated, Cold War artifacts in the pledge of allegiance is an injustice to the freedoms that have been preserved for more than 200 years. I hope the 9th District Court’s ruling stands - and if it doesn’t, then I will lose a great deal of faith in the true meaning of this great country. If it does pass, then it’s on to the next battle: In God We Trust.

Cheers

2002-06-27T16:43:00.000-07:00

RELIGION/POLITICS -PLEDGE-TAKE 2:

Facing an audience of irate pledge of allegiance supporters, Michael Newdow – the man who brought the original anti-pledge suit against California’s Oak Grove Unified School District – delivered an eloquent and appropriate rebuttal to arguments supporting America’s tired old pledge:

Audience member: “We are talking about the greatest flag to the greatest nation in the world, I can't believe that Americans will allow something like this to go by without voicing their opinion. This is ludicrous to me. I just can't believe that the courts would give him the time of day.”

Newdow: “I agree, it is the greatest nation and what has made it great is our Constitution. The framers were quite wise in recognizing what religion can do and how it can cause hatred and how it can cause death. You don't have to go far in this world, outside of our nation, to see where that has happened. It is prevalent over the entire globe and the reason we don't have it here is because we have an establishment clause ... If Mike there from Alabama wouldn't mind saying "we are one nation under Buddha" every day, or "one nation under David Koresh" or "one nation" under some religious icon that he doesn't believe in ... if he doesn't understand the difference then we have a problem.”

Way to put it, Newdow. The United States – Hell, the world – has changed a lot since this country was founded. We don’t need or have to dictate the daily operation and image of the country by Christian ethics. The United States is about freedom from a singular mind of thought. Pledging to God is akin to washing away the entire premise of the Constitution.

Cheers

2002-06-27T11:10:00.000-07:00

RELATIONSHIPS -DISHONESTY IS A VIRTUE:

I received an email from my close friend Sydney, today, outlining her discomfort in not being completely honest with people. In particular, she said, “Why do I find it hard to let people know, either explicitly or implicitly, that I have no place in my life for them? Case in point, I just spent 1/2 hour on the phone with Claire, primarily listening to her usual shtick about Claire, and said I would LOVE to get together with her for lunch, when that couldn't be further from the truth. Also, guys at the gym who make stupid, thoughtless, arrogant and ignorant remarks and corral me into conversations... I'm always nice to them. What's up with that? I mean, I thought I had no problem being a bitch when I wanted to be.”

Sydney – and anyone else who struggles with this – here’s my two cents on the issue. You probably maintain the peace with people (family, co-workers, baristas, that bitch at the Gap) for a variety of reasons, but the overarching reason is quite simple. You just don’t want to have to deal with the discomfort of the truth. If honesty is really what you’re looking for, then call Claire right back and say, “You know, Claire, I'm not really a lunch date kind of person and we had a great chat on the phone, earlier, so unless there's something in particular that you wanted to discuss, I'd rather not go out for lunch."

I don't know exactly what it is that makes that kind of honest response so hard for us, but it just is. Honesty is hard to come by in everyday conversation because it can really mess things up. That's just the way it is. When someone says, "How are you?" we don't really respond with a forthright answer, because it's usually just not worth the investment. After all, the person asking the question is just taking my membership card or making my coffee. I highly doubt they would like to delve into my problems with co-workers or the ongoing feud with my next-door neighbors. To avoid this discomfort, we just say, "Great. Thanks." If we were outright honest in every answer, we might never get a job or be in a relationship because no one would put up with us. Why? Honesty can be painful. Honesty in a courtroom is required, but complete honesty in the boardroom or bedroom can cost you more than the slight discomfort of holding back the full truth.

Sydney, you said it yourself: a certain amount of dishonesty is the oil that keeps the wheels of society in motion.

Cheers

2002-06-27T10:22:00.000-07:00

SITE UPDATE -SKIN:

Yes, indeed, Don't Poke the Bear (DPB) got a new look, today. I hope you like it. I'll try to keep my blogs to less than 200 words so you don't have to scroll to Japan just to get through it. I realize completely that I have a tendency to ramble like that guy with the severe cataracts that sits on the stone ledge next to your bus stop. Wait… maybe that's my bus stop. Regardless, I know your pain and I extend a heart-felt apology for contributing to it.

For those of you looking for a groovy new site to burn the hours away, I recommend diving into the BBC’s I Love – a nostalgic foray of fun.

Cheers

2002-06-26T15:05:00.000-07:00

POLITICS -PLEDGE THIS:

Alright, kids… today it hit the fan. For the first time ever, a federal appeals court declared the Pledge of Allegiance unconstitutional because of the words "under God," which (funny enough) were actually added by Congress in 1954.

The 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals said the phrase amounts to a government endorsement of religion in violation of the Constitution's Establishment Clause, which requires a separation of church and state. If the Supreme Court lets this decision stand, schoolchildren in the 9th Circuit can no longer be asked to recite the pledge. The 9th Circuit covers Alaska, Arizona, California, Hawaii, Idaho, Montana, Nevada, Oregon and Washington. Those are the only states directly affected by the ruling. To give time for everyone on the planet to appeal, the ruling won’t take effect for several months. The government can ask the court to reconsider, or take its case to the U.S. Supreme Court.

"A profession that we are a nation `under God' is identical, for Establishment Clause purposes, to a profession that we are a nation `under Jesus,' a nation `under Vishnu,' a nation `under Zeus,' or a nation `under no god,' because none of these professions can be neutral with respect to religion," Judge Alfred T. Goodwin wrote for the three-judge panel. The government previously argued that the religious content of "one nation under God" is minimal. In retaliation, the appeals court said that an atheist or a holder of certain non-Judeo-Christian beliefs could see it as an endorsement of monotheism.

Michael A. Newdow, a Sacramento atheist who objected because his second-grade daughter was required to recite the pledge at the Elk Grove school district, brought the case against the pledge. Damn right, Michael! I was beginning to think that tired old thing needed a rewrite, anyway. A federal judge dismissed his original lawsuit, so it was quickly appealed.

The appeals court said that when President Eisenhower signed the legislation inserting "under God" after the words "one nation," he wrote that "millions of our schoolchildren will daily proclaim in every city and town, every village and rural schoolhouse, the dedication of our nation and our people to the Almighty." Wow. I have to remember that this happened in the 1950s – a much different time. Otherwise, his words sound pretty scary.

The court noted the U.S. Supreme Court’s decision to keep students from holding religious invocations at graduations as well as to bar teachers from demanding that students recite the pledge. The 9th Court said that when the pledge is recited in a classroom, a student who objects is confronted with an "unacceptable choice between participating and protesting.” Freedom is a wild thing, giving us the crazy idea that some choices are just plain “unacceptable.” For all of its trouble, we should be thankful that we have the right to bitch about the details.

The court punctuated their decision by stating that, "Although students cannot be forced to participate in recitation of the pledge, the school district is nonetheless conveying a message of state endorsement of a religious belief when it requires public school teachers to recite, and lead the recitation of, the current form of the pledge.”

Tip your glass to America, kids.

Cheers

UPDATE: looks like the government has decided to collectively "freak out" in a giant, Christian uprising against the 9th Circuit Court. Check it out on Salon.

2002-06-26T14:08:00.000-07:00

LIFE -THE SMITH FAMILY:

I've been absolutely absorbed by the thoughts of a program I saw last evening on OPB (Oregon Public Broadcasting). The Smith Family is an amazing documentary telling the tragic story of Steve and Kim Smith’s journey of love, reconciliation, forgiveness and pain. I won't go into excessive detail, as the film's Website offers an excellent synopsis, but I can't recommend enough just how important it is that you do whatever is humanly possible to see this film. The Smith Family explores issues of faith, organized religion, relationships, family, AIDS, homosexuality and love, on an unheard of level. This film is humbling, honest, painful, joyful and most of all real.

Growing up in a Mormon community, I identified with many of the issues the Smith's faced in dealing with their tragedy through the eyes of the church. Though the director of the film, Tasha Oldham, is a Mormon, I’m compelled to give her due credit for displaying an extremely honest picture. It’s very important to note that she gave Steve Smith a well-suited venue to openly discuss his reconciliation with homosexuality and the church. His journey of reconciliation needs to be heard and was very well presented in the film. Oldham also managed to capture the raw pain and humanity of each and every family member as they dealt with the issue. Never before have I felt that a film more accurately showed how complex and rich the issue of faith and homosexuality can be.

Regardless of your beliefs on homosexuality and faith, at the very least there’s a good chance you’ll walk away inspired by the pure strength and fortitude of Kim Smith, a woman who looked beyond reactionary emotion and held a family together, leaving the survivors with a new, more humble and honest perception of the world.

Cheers

2002-06-25T13:28:00.000-07:00

LAUNCH -DON'T POKE THE BEAR LAUNCHES TODAY!:

Alright, this is it. My first blog. I'll keep it short so you won't have to sift through piles of mindless rubble searching for my point. I'll be back, so don't get comfortable.

Cheers